Last Halloween, Tammi Gymnastics and I went to a costume party held at a warehouse tucked away behind several dance clubs lining the train tracks. Tammi dressed exactly as she always does (think Nomi Malone crossed with Cristal Connors crossed with Henrietta Bazoom crossed with Penny Hope), except she stuck a pair of fangs onto her incisors, and painted on one single perfect drop of blood running out of one side of her mouth. I, on the other hand, was fucking tired of being frigid every Halloween, so I forewent the slut garb, and opted for something warmer. I dressed like a pregnant girl. Nothing (marginally) clever like a pregnant cheerleader or girl scout, just pregnant in regular street clothes (with my actual old baby blanket tucked underneath my maternity shirt). I didn’t even wear heels, which totally makes me self-conscious these days because everyone can tell what a squirt I am.
