Dick Week, Last Day: I’m Gonna Praise You Like I Should

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I Think You Mean...Piñacoladaburg.

Since I've been in a bad way for the last couple of weeks, I figured it'd be a good time to throw a PAXTON BOMB all over my front page to cheer myself up:

That's better.  I thought I might mash it up, and turn this into a Paxton-Tommy Wiseau match, but that man deserves another post entirely.  So, what else have you got, Bill?

Nice.  I think I'm starting to crack a smile.  But what I really need to see is lots of teeth and tongue.

Damn.  You have no idea how many times my sister and I attempted that trick at family outings when we were kids (to the point that my mom would have to pack extra plastic cutlery everywhere we went).  Now, gimme something I can snap my fingers to.

Love how you handed it to that bitch that dared compare you to Jimmy Buffet.  Loved you as a punk in Terminator with the tire tread marks painted all over your face!  And I especially love the fact that Big Love has been canceled (for your sake, not for Chloë Sevigny's) because now you can shed that boring, one-note, polygamous husk they kept you in all that time, and resume starring in every James Cameron film known to man.

Thanks, Bill. :)

Love.

Good Enough For a Poke, Huh?

Oftentimes, I find myself using this blog as a storage bin for YouTube videos I just can't live without.  Life has been much sweeter since I first saw the Sexy Sax Man play one of my favorite hits of the 80's in a Del Taco, and I extend my hearty applause to whoever constructed his pants.  It matters not that the number of views these three videos have accumulated equals around a combined 12 million, and that one dates as far back as 2009.  Funny is funny is so funny, and I could really give a shit if I'm posting old news here.

If Arnie, Carol and Sergio formed a super group called Sexual Whispers in Space, I'd wait overnight to buy front row tickets.

Richard Pryor, Part I: God, Thank You For Not Burnin' My Dick!

Raggle Rock is Bock!  We shall see if it's bock with a vengeance.  I've been away for over a month for reasons that ultimately don't matter, and listing them would be more boring to you than a midnight showing of Broken Flowers at the Tower would be to me. However, it must be said that I missed this, and I missed YOU.  So, let's cut the excuse-y bullshit, and get to thissssssss: