Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I Think You Mean...Piñacoladaburg.

Since I've been in a bad way for the last couple of weeks, I figured it'd be a good time to throw a PAXTON BOMB all over my front page to cheer myself up:


That's better.  I thought I might mash it up, and turn this into a Paxton-Tommy Wiseau match, but that man deserves another post entirely.  So, what else have you got, Bill?


Nice.  I think I'm starting to crack a smile.  But what I really need to see is lots of teeth and tongue.


Damn.  You have no idea how many times my sister and I attempted that trick at family outings when we were kids (to the point that my mom would have to pack extra plastic cutlery everywhere we went).  Now, gimme something I can snap my fingers to.


Love how you handed it to that bitch that dared compare you to Jimmy Buffet.  Loved you as a punk in Terminator with the tire tread marks painted all over your face!  And I especially love the fact that Big Love has been canceled (for your sake, not for Chloë Sevigny's) because now you can shed that boring, one-note, polygamous husk they kept you in all that time, and resume starring in every James Cameron film known to man.


Thanks, Bill. :)


Love.

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